i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
