Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
