Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize