So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
