Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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