i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
What drink are we having for lunch?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
