whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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