just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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