So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
