similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
