HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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