just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
