brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
