Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
