he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
