I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
God I need to hump something, right now.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
