And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize