Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
