wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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