Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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