alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Two words: blizzard sex
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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