I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
