i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
