and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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