sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
His nipple licking is glorious
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