my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This is my gift to your gina
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
