I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
