I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
