You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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