the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
