I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
