She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
