...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
