This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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