I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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