Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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