That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
How external is "for external use only"?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
