I wish I could punch you in the face.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
