the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
