I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
