do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
