I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
