Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize