is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
