I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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