? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
