so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
