so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
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