butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
