So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
