He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
