4 words: hood of his car
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
