Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
