C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
we're making bets on your personal life
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
