Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
