Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
