May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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