just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
